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02:40pm 02/10/2005
  I dont think its possible to be anymore sad then i am right now...........
why does life have to be so crappy
here i am in tears over something that i just need to get over
its not my loss
and yet thats completely how i feel
i wish some ppl cared as much as i thought they did
but it seems that they dont care at all
how can u give up on somehting u didnt even start trying at
I hate him
and I dont
deep down inside
I care
but he doesnt
cause if he did
i wouldnt be here crying
does it not make him sad that im sad
that im in tears
why doesnt he care
why doesnt he care like I care
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07:00pm 19/07/2005
mood: depressed

having one of those bleh days.........

dont kno why

I miss her....found one of her stuff animals from when she was a kid memories....memories of a happy time and of a sad time....... the little stuffed animal bunny.......it played music.........but after awhile... it faded into the silence.....until there was nothing.... no music.....just a dead air -Always in my heart <3

All the love in the world, reena

ps. plz dont post comments or ask ?s, this was a just for me thing, something i had to get out and lemme tell you--im already feeling better for it

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11:18pm 07/06/2005
mood: beat down

hey guys, its me updating again

I have since decided to learn to play tennis which is harder than it appears--well--for me at least-- i have possibly the worst hand eye coordination ever--lol- but my wonderful friends lillybilly and kimmie are helping me learn how to play and I love them sooooooooooo much. They also work at kumon with me and they are only the most wonderful people ever! But i reallllllllllly miss my sweeeeeeeeeeeet chickarooni too and want all of yall to meet each other--so I am trying to find a day when everyone can come to my house--Im sure all of yall will have a blast and we can just spend the whole day together and watch movies and do crosswords lol and paint nails and talk and just have fun. so far these are the ppl I am invitin

Kimmie, Lillybilly, kamna, ariel, jenni, erica

and i really want to invite aarti but im dont kno if --ya kno since our rents dont kno each other--but she is definitely on the invite list. but she's moving so :(

If yall have suggestions on who else to invite--just post um


anyhow-- summer school starts soon--hopefully it wont be too terribly boring-- I am practically counting the days til choir camp--and seriously would love to be good at tennis--i want it oooooo soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly--hopefully my practice will pay off--but i doubt it considering how terribly bad i am--thats ok-maybe by next yr

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im bak!   
11:32am 31/05/2005
mood: determined
hey all yall

Summer has finally started and I have finally found two minutes out of my day to update this thing. Actually, today I have a lot more than two minutes. So Ill catch all yall up on my doings and happenings.
This summer I will be doing summer school, driving school, volunteering at the hospital, working on a charity project, working at kumon, tutoring, and of course, as i do every summer--studying.
So, Im pretty much busy as can be. But I guess the plus to that is that I wont have to think about much--and believe me there is alot going on up in that head of mine--life is simply too complicated. Sometimes its hard to focus on the important things in life. Even though you know whats more important--its hard to really follow what youve set as your priorities. And then to add to that--if youre like me--a complete analyst--there is the comstant ? --why are we here--why are our priorities what they are? Why is anything anything? And above all--why am i here? But I guess these stupid ?s are among the many things floating up in that head of mine--and of course--the one I do not want to admit is floating up there in my head--a guy--of course--but Im aware its a dumb notion-to want to feel--I dont kno--like someone cared. At this point-its really not any particular guy-but I dont know--ya gotta wonder why the only guys that have ever asked me out were total pervs or, according to me, must have been on some horny pills--no kidding.
Im aware that Im not ugly, or stupid, or mean, so the ? is--what IS wrong with me? LOL.
Well all of this is much too petty anyhow--and its not like me to care---or, I guess, admit that I care. I kno that its all a bunch of trivial crap that wont matter later on in life--Im not going to look bak one day and realize that I missed out on something--bc I will have missed out on nothing-that is if I can manage to stay focused on school--but i think that is my greatest challenge--above all things--school-family--friends--everything is easier than staying focused on my goals---they are hard to achieve and yet--so easily can be taken away--which is why I think I should get all of this out of my system--whether it be on lj or some other place--I just need to get rid of these petty thoughts and emotions and feelings--cause THAT is what is holding me bak from being something I can truly look bak on one day and be proud of.*sigh*
Ok, Im done venting. LOL
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nothing in particular   
03:11pm 13/11/2004
mood: okay

its not perfect but im certainly content
ive tried my best
what more could i do.

meaning to read a good book--if uve got suggestions plz do post them

got ppl come over at 600 today--better finsh all the cleaning......

aarti--if your reading this--call me cause i havent talked to you in forever--call me sunday or during the wk--before 9 plz--my parents will freak out otherwise.i miss you!

I got to talk to Dawna, the cousin that joey's always telling me about. She is very nice! Now i undertand why joey loves her so much.

smrithy and pinky coming in december--IM SUPPPPER excited!I CANNOT WAIT!!!!
Christmas will truly be delightful this year!

<3love, Reena
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07:13pm 06/11/2004
mood: tired
wow--havent done this in awhile--not much to write about--dont wanna bore you

worked at kumon until 4:15--super tired
having back pains
lots of tests
doing well in school

thats all
just an update
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10:02pm 30/09/2004
mood: peaceful
got my grades today--did well in most of my classes
geometry preap-99
geography preap--97 :/
biology preap--94 :(
choir-100(go figure, right?)lol
spanish 2-100

Technically i should have a 100 in geometry but she said for her to give me a hundred i had to make 100 on all of my tests and quizes regardless of the fact that my grade is higher that 100--she was like--u had a 96 on one of your quizes so i cant give it to you--:(--**shrug**--o well--just gotta work harder.
Bio im so totally doing TERRIBLE IN!I suck at science--i like the material but the teacher isnt outstanding or anything--cant really blame it on her tho--its my job to learn--nt hers
And geography--new teacher--gives into all the students--she ended up changing a test grade to a daily grade bc even tho she told us it was gonna be a test grade everyone was complaining and she doesnt like being disliked so she caved--i wouldve had at least one poitn higher--ehh--o well--next time--ill just have to work harder and not have to worry about that stuff

overall--schools alright--some people are gettng too competitive--why is everyone so absorbed with my grades--they cant change them or fix them--the only person whose grades they should be worried about is their own--right?i cant be mean tho--so i have politely refused to answer any ?s abotu grades--and ya kno what ppl do--they go around asking other ppl what my grades are and end up with the wrong information bc only 3 or 4 ppl actually really kno my grades and its not like they are going to tell anyone. so everyone is all talking behind my bak about what my grades are or arent and who's beating who and whos ahead in what and who's smarter and who works harder--funny thing is that its all the smae person--and of course he thinks he is smarter--which might be true and its fine for him to think that but--to go around telling all his friends and all MY friends that he is gettng better grades then me and is smarter and works harder--its none of his or thier business--right? and its not even tru--i havent said anything--and i wont--cause i dont want a confrontation or anything--but this guy is supposedly my friend and he knos i am not competitive with anyone cept myself--and still he "picks the scab"lol. so now everyone is talking about my grades--im really not that interesting--infact--not even close.lol--its just too much--i have enough pressure from my parents and raymond and MYSELF--really--i put enough pressure on myself--i dont need the rest of the 9th grade class to add to it--mayeb itll be a blessing--maybe itll make me work harder--who knos--gotta see the silver lining. im not thrilled with all my grades but now i kno what to work on more--its all good--just needed to get that all off my chest before i accidently exploded on someone--dont wanna do that--when i explode--im pretty mean--its not fun--and i always feel terrible about it afterwards--and ive gotta a good beat going for me--havent really snapped at someone is a LONG time--id like to keep it that way.--lol
alright--bak to my good mood :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
today was early out--i got ALOT of slep when i got home at 1:40 lol--fell asleep at about 3. didnt wake up til 6:30--it was nice--realy nice.
had a voice lesson today--im having an extra long one tomorrow--IM EXCITED--i have practiced this music so many times i can no longer count--just working on loosening up--im too serious when i sing--its a prob--cause its a FUN song. im working on it tho.:)
thats all...for now
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05:48pm 26/09/2004
mood: honest
Copied from alex:

Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I'll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty.

Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse.
     Read 10 - Post
05:36pm 03/09/2004
  o my goodness--when i was walking home today this guy was peering at me from his car as he drove by--i just thought--maybe he thinks im someone else--but then after he drove by he turned around and drove by again--slower--he opened the window all the way and just stared--i looked down and walked faster--this is the second day in a row that this has happened to me--scary thing is that i think its the same guy..---its freaking me out--and then a wk ago, i saw a dead snake with ants and flies swarming around it on my way to school--my bak hurts from 40 pounds of books--no--im not exaggerating--my dad didnt believe me either--i weighed it in front of him--he was surprised too. 40 LBS!!!!!!!!!! thats like 40% of my weight--and it takes me at least 15 min to get there--IM SOOOO TIRED OF WALKING TO SCHOOOOL!--anyways--ill deal--im just complaining too much..heheh

had another private voice lesson--so totally the highlight of my wk. Goodness--i am soo boring. I dont really think ive got anything left to tell ya!

Happy belated b-day to Aditya--sry i didnt kno it was ur b-day--sry--but happy birthday now!
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY KIMBERLY!!!!!!HOPE U HAD AN AWESOME ONE--sry i couldnt come see yall play--i felt sooooo sick!
JOEY!!!!--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!i kno-its not till the ninth--my half b-day--:-P but happy early birthday--luv ya
nicole--nope--i didnt forget--its the 15th--happy birthday grl!Hope that alls going well for you!keeping ya in my thoughts and prayers!!!

allergies--they are quite wonderful--i mean--youve got the sneezing and the coughing--and a sore throat--but thats not even the best part--lets not forget about a throbbing headache--its all so wonderful--isnt it?

Congratulations to Nicole E. for making the musical!
I knew u would! I wish i could have auditioned with u-- i just have so much on my plate right now--maybe next yr*sigh*!
You have such a beautiful voice--u soo deserve it!


KAMNA--ima call you or something--we need to stay in touch:)
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10:11pm 27/08/2004
  had my first voice lesson this wk--it was great--absolutely thrilling--i felt so happy afterwards-"my funny valentine"-gosh i love to sing--DEFINATELY the highlight of my wk.
Ariel is my highlighter yellow punkin
met some really cool new ppl at school--this grl named princess--isnt that such a pretty name,jessica--soo nice, and tyler--*shakes head* ive got nothing to saylol, and all my old friends who i missed so much. the social part of school is so much fun--the learning part--not so much.--Fav teacher so far is Ms. Birdwell. Shes really awesome--plus she likes me and that certainly doesnt hurt.lol. Her class is a alot of fun--partially cause she's soo interesting and partially cause i sit next to tyler and ariel.lol. I met this other guy in my spanish class--whos name i dont kno--im soo bad at this name thing--hes cool tho--interesting rather--i think hes cool--he wore a pink shirt to school--i think that for a guy to do that is pretty awesome--im weird like that.

btw--mad props to shree and his sense of style.lol.

im sry to everyone for not really keeping in touch for a while--ill make it up to all of you--i promise

til next time
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09:04pm 20/08/2004
  school has been easy easy--but a bit stressful. easy doesnt necessarily mean good--ive been trying to reserve A LOT of time for studying but its just not good enough. I think i am doing ok at managing my time, actually--pretty good. Hmmm*sigh*--regardless--i am trying. Im sleeeepy....anyways--highschool is ok--but its overrated. but i met alot of new ppl.--thats a plus....ehh--its all good--:)

working with duan or dan tomorrow at kumon--andy is the brains of the operation bak there but dan and duan are super smart too--i think we'll manage.:)

sry i havent been on a whole lot recently--ive just been caught up in everything else-that and i hate ppl asking me for help on hmwrk constantly--i mean--IM SOO GLAD TO HELP--dont get me wrong-but alot of u ppl are misusing it--i refuse to be on for hrs to help the rest of you and be unable to get my own work done when i kno the only reason u ever talk to me is so that ill help you on hmwrk. Anyways--this doesnt apply to all you ppl-- If you have my phone number--feel free to use it--the fact that i gave it to you means its alright--anyways on a lighter note--if you need to call me to TALK about RANDOM things--feel free to do so on the wkends--Im ALWAYS--just about--around.
11:25pm 15/08/2004
thanks for allowing me into ur home--ur family is very nice--and so was shree--i had the most fun that ive had in a VERY long time--outta the house--JUST GREAT!:):):):):):):):):):):)
went to an indian "perivadee" and saw this guy that i havent seen in years and he was soo incredibly hott 4 an indian guy--hottest malu guy ever--actually--hottest indian guy ever--lol--tall and muscular--but not too tall--or toooooooo old--kinda--but not really--lol--anyhow--i dont think he even remembered me--if he did-well he didnt say --not even--two wrds to me--so i doubt it
saw my aunt and uncle for the first time since they came bak form germany--they didnt get to come to our house that other day when i said they were gonna--these ppl are like the coolest ppl ever--dont kno what iu would do without them--lets hope i never have to find out--:)

once again thanx to kamna and her family
--later yalls
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Houston--"met" some awesome ppl   
08:36pm 08/08/2004
mood: tired
As darkness fell, we drove; through the night, until alas we reached our destination--Walgreens, on the corner of Castlegory and Wallisville in Houston. We were going to see some friends who we had met only once before. After running around in what seemed directionless circles, looking for a house number 127 that we had now decided didnt exist, we decided to call it quits. I sat in the car as my father made a phone call. Only moments later, Uncle had appeared and we were off to find their house--house number 127. Sure enough--it did exist. The clock read 9:51 as we stepped right on in.There stood Joley, Ashley, and Jesley. My first thoughts--wow--Joley and Jesley are soo PRETTY(really, they were absolulely gorgeous--in a totally friendly way--lol). I would say the same for Ashley--except--Ashley is what i would call handsome--bc Ashley is a guy.For a while we kinda just sat around--didnt really kno what to say or do. It was only 40 minutes later, 10:30, that we were on the sofa watching "The Ring",which i had never seen. We,Joley, Ashley, Jesley, Raymond, and myself, all kinda just stared, motionless and without words, toward the direction of the tv. 1:00--the movie had finished.I was ready for bed--church was early the next morning. Everyone kinda just made their way to where they would be retiring and soon we were all sound asleep.
The next morning, we all awoke and dressed for church in our churidars and saris. The four guys, uncle, my dad,ashley, and raymond, of course--wore slacks and dress shirts. The service was 3 hrs long. Soon after, we went out for pizza and got to kno each other a little better. Few words were spoken but the silences were not akward. Not too long after we returned and had begun to watch "Yes, boss", it was time to go. I gathered my things and headed for the door. I hesitantly hugged all three of them--Joley first, then Jesley, and lastly--Ashley.I walked out the door--threw my purse in, then turned around, smiled ever-so-softly, and stepped into the car.They had all been soo nice-- Joley and her constant try to make conversation,Ashley, who was soo polite and nice, and Jesley, who had tried her best to make us feel at home. I lifted my hand gently, for the last good-bye wave, and just as quickly as we had come, we were off. The time we spent had seemed MUCH too short and the drive home seemed MUCH too long.........

incase ur wondering--joley is in college, ashley is going into 10th and jesley is the same age as me--see if you can figure that one out--lol
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03:31pm 06/08/2004
mood: grateful
i am thrilled--as much of a waste of time i thought choir would be--IT WAS SOO FUN--and she said i was GREAT--course she is a really nice person so she may have just said it to be nice--she said i can choose between a part as a soprano and an alto bc she said i was strong in both--in other words--i have a loud voice--not sure if thats good--i think ima do soprano bc im more comfortable in the high range--although she said she may move me around when she needs it.--it seems like a LOAD of fun tho--i saw their production"A night at the movies"--it was soo coool. I was soo impressed--now that ive seen all this and met alot of ppl--i think i wanna do choir all through hs but i dont think my parents will ok that--they dont want something fun like this to be crowding my schedule where i could be taking "academic" classes.

Although i was COMPLETELY against choir b4-- i really wanna do it now
I mean--i took music classes for almost 9 yrs and cantored at church so its nothing new--BUT IM PROLLY EVEN MORE NERVOUS THEN I WAS THEN.

These ppl can REALLY sing
I always LOVED to sing--im just scared as ANYTHING
but its about time i get bak into it
I deserve something great--something to look forward to
I think i do--at least
It is relaxing--and thats a good thing--i think

I dont kno....................
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10:31pm 05/08/2004
mood: sad
Choir practice friday morning at 9

I HATE when ppl make me feel like trash.


I REALLY didnt deserve it--AT ALL..--I didnt do a thing i can feel badly about--which is really something--bc im always able to find something i did wrong--not this time.

i was angry--now im just sad
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10:43pm 04/08/2004
mood: serene-content-mildlyhappy
Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a8 1/2
your best quality isyou dont follow the crowd
your worst quality isaww, nothing =)
this is becauseyou are who you are
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...erotic
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...light up a day
Your touch is...the only thing I desire
Your smell is...refreshing
Your smile is...entrancing
Your love is...eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

pretty hilarious huh?

today was kinda busy at kumon--but it wasnt too bad--only one new kid--and of course the three new kids from last wk who are no longer new--lol.
Thank God for andy--he is great with the lil kids
I didnt get to do my work today--well i did one page--now im tired--very much soo
things that brightened my day:
ray being silly-: P
Kamna being herself-:)
Getting to talk to aarti-:)
Lillian--whose birthday it is!!!!
Shree and the pencil sharpner--lol
John and my phone call during kumon hrs--haha
I REALLY NEED TO FINISH MY SUMMER READING BOOK--it soo incredibly terrible--but ive prolly already told you that--"daisy fay and the miracle man"--STUPIDEST BOOK EVER--at least in the 120 pages i have read--out of a 320 page book--i dont think its getting any better.
today has been pretty awesome--for some reason--kumon days always r--i guess it might be bc i get to get out of the house--which is always nice--plus all the ppl at kumon--including ms. arathi--are so nice--u cant help but enjoy being around them.
Anywho--i think this post is done

bye yalls--Reena :):)
btw--im going to houston this wkend--so thatll be why i am not around
much luv yalls and peace

o--and even tho he's gone--i still LOVE ....ken jennings<3
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09:01pm 01/08/2004
mood: bored
watched texas chainsaw massacre---it was really good--until we found out that it wasnt true--it says baed on a real story at the beginning of the movie--but then we found out that it was loosely based--very loosely--lol---it kinda ruined the movie after we watched it--but it was scary and gory never-the-less--but no wonder it seemed so impossible to be real--the best part was being scared--and holding on to Jency for dear life--lol--so it was ok.popcorn and strawberry ice cream--yum.Bowling for Columbine very shocking at some points--i think i would say it was good--but then again--the movie was totally biased--i mean--come on now--its michael moore.but yea--its good--not great--but good--worth watching.--and then--they left--*tear*--it was soo sad--Jency--monkey is already missing u deeply--and contrary to the striking resemblence--i do not mean raymond--haha..man--i miss yall--life seems so much more normal with yall around--well--hope i see you soon--and btw--u suck--i found the money right where u said it would be--ur so bad---we will get you when we come to yalls house!!!
haha--anyways--Jency--nice ppl are REALLY nice. department stores are always open to nice ppl--lol-haha.well--ima end this post --later guys
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11:19pm 31/07/2004
mood: ecstatic
i am soo glad that jewels and jence r here! man--i LUV them soo much---IM SOO HAPPY.Stayed up all night yesterday.--went to kumon this morning--that was fun--three new kids--as usual--andy was awesomely nice and easy to work with---then i came home to AMAZING ppl who i had so much fun with. Went to barton creek mall--and then saw the village at the AMC theatre there--GREAT movie--I LOVED IT!--highly reccomended!I THOUGHT IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i cant stop talkign about it--then we wandered aimlessly around the mall for a couple hours--picked ray out some shades and i got a toe ring--it was really cute.--then we wandered again--then got a frulatti--mocha java--YUM--went home hung out--then we went to rent some movies--texas chainsaw massacre and some michael moore documentary on columbine--should be good--then we might go bak to watchign the simpsons dvd thing again--the one i got ray for his b-day--we only watched like one of the four dvds.---i am soo hyper---I AM HAVIONG CRAZY FUN WITH THEM---IM SOO HAPPY--and happy to be happy.lol.SO anyways thats my day
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07:03pm 30/07/2004
  i am such a jaka$$---everything always bakfires on me--i really do mean well--and yet it never seems that way bc it never comes out that way--no matter how good my intentions--i always seem to do more than just let myself down--i completely and unintentionally screw up everyone elses lives
i do things bc i know that they r the right thing to do and yet
they r not--all at the same time
how can it be thr right thing and not be the right thing at the same time?
it doesnt make any sense...........:(

and dont u dare tell me--it wasnt my fault bc u kno what? it was...but u kno what else
either way--it would have been my fault

so im sry
I feel like the thing that "feeds off the fungus that feeds on ponscumb"--My best friends wedding
in other words i feel like crap--yea thats right i said CRAP and JACKA$$
you can tell just excatly how disturbed i am.......

im sry for everything and for nothing
bc either way--i prolly owe u an apology
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11:15pm 29/07/2004
mood: sad
Jewels and Jency are coming down from dallas tomorrow--cant wait for that.....should be fun...yea.....
Trying to get some studying done--its good for me--its helps relax me and forget everything else that isnt whatever im studying....lol...plus i wanna do well in school...i dont really have anything to say today................
well umm--yea--today has been..........just like any other day....hope urs was great.........

if only i had a time machine--i could go...change things..change other ppl.....maybe change myself........
A time machine would be great, wouldnt it?
If only.
If only.
If only.........
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